Boundaries: No One Should Ever Feel Guilty About A Door

Homes. 

Every home has a front door.
It’s the main point of entry.
It’s a means of protection.
It regulates access.

Unlike walls which are immovable, front doors offer us a choice. We can fling it wide open to our closest friends and family. We can crack it open with the chain to someone we are unsure of. Or we can leave it shut and locked up tight from a stranger or someone we don’t trust.

I’ve never felt guilty for having a front door on my home. Not once. I’ve never wrestled with myself for not opening the door to a stranger—or to an annoying salesman who won't get the hint and just go away! I’ve never once felt pressured to speak a polite sentiment through the door as to why I won’t let them in.  The door basically speaks for itself. It’s a boundary.

The only people who have unrestricted use of my front door are the ones who live in my home. No one else even thinks to walk right in. They knock as a means to ask permission to enter. My home is a warm, intimate place for those who are welcome here. It’s a place for love and laughter, for pain and tears. It's a safe place of retreat. It is home.

It’s rare, but if anyone is already in my home and begins to make me uncomfortable, I am going to have to ask them to leave. If anyone enters my home without my permission, it is a violation. And I will take measures to protect myself.

Home is where the heart is.

Hearts.

Every heart has a front door.
It’s the main point of entry.
It’s a means of protection.
It regulates access.

Having a door to our hearts offers us the choice of who we allow to enter. We can fling it wide open to our closest friends and family. We can crack it gently to someone we are just getting to know. Or we can lock it up tight from anyone who doesn’t belong there.

Much like my home, my heart is mine to protect. Why would I for one minute feel guilty to guard it? Why would I feel pressured to justify why I won’t let someone in? It’s my heart! And my heart has boundaries.

Those who belong here know it. They have open access because they have a home in my heart. Those who don’t know me as well, ask my permission. My heart is a place for love and laughter, for pain and tears. It's a safe place of retreat. My heart is my home.

On the rare occasion someone begins to make me uncomfortable, I am going to have to ask them to leave. And I won’t feel compelled to explain myself or apologize. And should someone push or pressure their way in past my front door, then they are violating a space where they do not belong. And I will take measures to protect myself.

Seriously. Why is it so difficult to enforce boundaries?

It’s a door. No one should ever feel guilty about a door.