Come Up Swinging

*big exhale*
God is a Planner too.  His words, not mine:
’For I know the plans I have for you,’ says the Lord…

Well, it’s a good thing, because I don’t.

Life has a way of unexpectedly knocking us on our asses every now and then.  In my case, it was the end of a 13 year marriage that I genuinely expected to last forever.  The undoing of it all broke my heart, challenged my faith, and splintered my family.

It left me asking myself, “What the hell?”

I was absolutely stunned to discover that little-miss-prepared-like-a-girl-scout had no Plan B.
Nothing.
Nada.
Zilch.

It left me uncertain about my future and that of my children.  For months, I felt excrutiatingly vulnerable.  I felt isolated and judged by people I had once considered to be close friends.  I felt painfully alone.  And well, I was pretty shocked.

A real turning point…

…came for me when I finally let myself get good and mad - and cuss!  I spent a whole month cussing.  Big hot tears and BIG CAPITAL LETTERS in my journal.  Oh and I cussed out loud – sometimes really loud!  And, I cussed to God.  (I figured He’s heard it all anyway.)  It was not a pretty point in my life.  But I suppose most turning points aren’t.  I had no Plan B.  And, I needed to know:

What the hell am I going to do now?

Apparently God’s got this question before.  Because immediately He answered,
'For I know the plans I have for you,’ says the Lord… (Jeremiah 29)

Wow.  Indescribable peace.  That’s all I needed to know.  That was well over a year ago, and I still don’t know the whole plan.  But, I am happy to know someone’s got one.  And well, I’m pretty cool with the fact that it’s God.

And ya know, I’m glad I spent a whole month cussing.  But, I am not gonna live my life in that place.  I refuse to be jaded and bitter.  I refuse to be angry, depressed, or alone.  Life is awesome!  And, I want to LIVE mine - all the way!

So, that’s what Type A Plans B is all about.  Getting knocked on your ass, and coming up swinging.  It’s about owning what’s yours and moving on.  It’s about a Type A learning to freakin’ chill out.  It’s about being comfortable to discover Plan B as I go.  Life’s a little more messy this way.  But, I like it.

When life pushes you down, push it back.  Hard.